Oops, Another Pseudo-Artist Did It Again

As you undoubtedly know by now, dear reader, some nobody artist named Daniel Edwards has created a stir with one of his latest sculptures. No, Mr. Edwards hasn’t offered the typical example of quasi-avant-garde politically correct art: say, a likeness of Jesus dressed up as Mussolini.

Rather, he has found a seemingly new way to trouble our aesthetic senses. Perhaps the title of said sculpture encapsulates it all: “Monument to Pro-Life: The Birth of Sean Preston.”

Who, you may reasonably be asking yourself, is Sean Preston? Well, he’s the lucky child of pop-star Britney Spears and professional hanger-on Kevin Federline. The horrifically ugly sculpture, which is on display at Capla Kesting Fine Art gallery in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, depicts Ms. Spear’s bear-skin-rug birthing of her son.

Asked why he chose the scantily-clad pop star Ms. Spears as his symbol of the pro-life cause, Mr. Daniels said “She was the best choice. I couldn’t come up with anybody that matched her.”

Uh, yeah. So Britney Spears is this chucklehead’s ideal symbol of the pro-life movement? That’s rather strange, since, last we checked, Kevin Federline’s very existence is the pro-choice crowd’s strongest argument.

Yet Mr. Daniel’s wretched sculpture isn’t all bad. It allows us the opportunity to vouch for our lack of politicized double standards. Like many a Hilton Kramer clone, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” have long tired of politically motivated conceptual art.

We simply can’t stand this stuff: If we wanted simplistic, dunderheaded political rants, we wouldn’t head to an art gallery. We’d just read some Maureen Dowd columns.

This isn’t to say that all art that touches on political issues is odious. Far from it. But, for crying out loud, don’t water down your art with pathetically naïve messages. We get it: It’s tough to be an illegal immigrant in this country. Does telling us so with a lousy picture make great art? We collectively think not.

Normally, of course, it’s the radical lefties who trumpet their black-and-white politics through conceptual art. It appears as if that’s one way the herd of independent minds keeps informed.

But now, Mr. Daniels has joined the fray with his obvious—and successful—attempt to gain notoriety for sub-par art purportedly in support of the pro-life movement. Well, gee whiz: Perhaps we ought to inform this clever artiste that pro-lifers don’t really need this kind of support.

How may “700 Club” viewers earnestly desire a slutty, no-talent former piece of jailbait to personify their cause? How many Bob Jones University graduates hope that a warbly-voiced whore in a jog bra and mini skirt becomes the symbol of their movement?

A few thousand at best, we’d wager. Maybe a few more.