July 05, 2004

The Catch Phrase Craze As

The Catch Phrase Craze

As the regular reader of our humble “weblog” knows by now, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” are blithely enjoying our seven-week vacation. As such, we are posting a few times a week, and spending the remaining portion of our days delighting in such relaxing activities as grout removal.

Accordingly, dear reader, we musn’t expect that our humble “weblog,”—humble as it is—would prove as popular during this stretch of time as it had during the halcyon days of its pre-vacation life. Back then, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” made numerous appearances on “Oprah”; nary a day passed without mention of us in The New York Post, or some other venerable institution of American journalism.

These days, however, we are lucky if we can garner the attention of the Lincoln (MA) Daily Woodchuck & Gazetteer.

To be honest, dear reader, we have found this a mite depressing. We are, as they say, fiddling whilst Rome—or, in this case, our “weblog”—burns.

As a result, we hoped to breathe new life into our “website.” Since our animadversions always prove inspired and hilarious, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” figured that we suffer from what non-experts might call an advertising problem.

In fact, we think that our humble “weblog” is dangerously bereft of fetching slogans. To be sure, the top right-hand corner of your computer screen offers the clever phrase “Heterodox Views for the Beleaguered Hatemonger” when one visits our site. That’s fairly catchy, if we must say so ourselves.

But we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” figured that we could come up with a few more choice slogans, and thus revitalize our sagging site.

Accordingly, the Official Catch Phrase Department of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly” has been working away on some appealing slogans. Thus far, however, it has merely generated an uninspired list of phrases, drawn mostly from rock-n-roll "music." For instance: “If You Can’t Be With the One You Hate, Baby, Hate the One You're With"; “I’ve Been Through the Desert on a Hate With No Name”; or “If Hating You is Wrong I Don’t Want to Be Right.” That sort of thing.

Rather tepid, aren’t they? And this is where you, dear reader, can help us out. If the muses strike you and you can come upon a glorious catch phrase for us to employ in our “weblog,” we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” would be delighted to hear from you. All you must do is click on the “Contact Us” link at the top of your computer screen and send us an e-missive.

Naturally, if we use your slogan, we shall make mention of your coruscating genius. Which, of course, will give you all kinds of “street cred.” Or something.

So, dear reader, rack your brains, come upon a plum of a slogan, and drop us a line. Until then, we’ll be stuck ending our posts with such rancid phrases as “While My Guitar Gently Hates.”

Posted at July 5, 2004 12:01 AM | TrackBack