Colleges Are Just So Darned…Conservative

Colleges Are Just So Darned…Conservative

First, we must note that Ben Hubbard and David Halperin, the two authors of this pathetic piece of agitprop, did not realize that Dinesh D’Souza already wrote a book with the title “Illiberal Education.” As that tome details the horrendous left-wing bias in academia, you might have thought that Messrs. Hubbard and Halperin would be aware of the work. It appears not.

The pull-quote from the op-ed says it all: “Increasingly, the agenda on campus is conservative.” To which we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” respond: Have these two chuckleheads ever set foot on a college campus?

Alas, Messrs. Hubbard and Halperin appear to follow the Eric Alterman school of journalism: Argue a point that is mind-numbingly counterfactual, and, if you caterwaul with sufficient fervor, some may believe you. Mr. Alterman, the Lucifer-look-a-like who put forward the brilliantly absurd notion that the mainstream media are biased in favor of conservatives, is surely the patron saint of Messrs. Hubbard and Halperin.

In their piece, the two idiots carp: “Undoubtedly, liberals occupy more professorships, but this says little about political discrimination. Robert Frost wrote, ‘A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.’”

Well, if that’s the case, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” are delighted to inform the American public that there are no liberals on American campuses. After all, professors of women’s studies, black studies, peace studies, comparative literature, &c. are not exactly famous for their broadmindedness.

If Messrs. Hubbard and Halperin were not busy dreaming up utterly unconvincing arguments, they might take a look at the world of contemporary scholarship in the humanities and social sciences: We think they’ll find about as many broad minds as they find unicorns.

And this leads us to our point for the day: If left-wing hacks are going to attempt to sway the public with viciously counterintuitive arguments, why not go all out and proffer the most idiotic points possible?

May we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” humbly suggest a few (free of charge, no less)?

“The Hatemonger’s Quarterly” Official List of Ridiculously Counterfactual Arguments for Our Friends on the Political Left:

1. Al Gore is part of a disgraceful Jewish conspiracy to ensure that the Republicans stay in power for 83 more years.

2. Wolf Blitzer is Karl Rove.

3. Republicans are training rats to vote for the 2008 presidential election.

4. Conservatives eat babies. They particularly enjoy baby humans, but pretty much any infant creature will suffice.

5. The Beatniks’ well-known aversion to recreational druggery helped paved the way for the neo-Victorian sensibilities we in America are currently experiencing.

6. Ben Hubbard and David Halperin aren’t a couple of shameless hacks, and possess intricate knowledge of American higher education.