May 19, 2005

Social Justice Camp

Social Justice Camp

As we recently noted in this space, dear reader, soon the academic year will be over, and your darling little graduate will be working a thankless 9-to-5 job like the rest of us. In addition, said graduate’s sex life will be more or less over. In a few short days, the only thing of his that will be dangling is a participle.

It’s highly unlikely, then, that your functionally illiterate college graduate will be particularly content in the short run. Or, for that matter, in the long run.

Yet why not ensure that your littlest ones fully enjoy their summer? Although your 22-year-old has the blues because he’s no longer majoring in date-rape drugs, there’s no reason why lil’ Johnny can’t have himself a ball.

That’s why we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” strongly exhort you to send your hebetic tykes to the Student Environmental Action Coalition’s Activist Training Camp.

A correspondent from our Bloomington (IN) office recently sent us a flyer for this magnificent Activist Training Camp, and believe you us, it seems as if it’s going to be rip-roarin’ fun.

The kind of fun, in fact, that one can only have watching old Ernest P. Worrell movies. Or at the dentist’s office. Or, better yet, at the local union boss’ office.

As a result, we strongly suggest you forgo Camp Trail of Tears this year in favor of Activist Training Camp. After all, why would a kid want to play tetherball with some noxious suburbanite-in-training when he could be busy “confronting the legacy of racism and other forms of oppression and their manifestations within the environmental movement today”?

We collectively can’t think of a reason either.

So drop your water wings, kids, and get ready for a “two-day anti-racism training, continued with forums for discussing and planning anti-oppression work.”

Sounds a bit oppressive, doesn’t it?

But, heck, we’re entirely sure that it beats the tar out of diving lessons. And just think of all those uplifting Fidel Castro stories you will take in at the campfire! While other kids are troubling themselves with the vicissitudes of Basic Rescue and Water Safety, you left-wing tots will be glorying in the work of Paul Ehrlich. And perhaps you can tell Bjorn Lomborg ghost stories. Fun, fun, fun, eh?

In fact, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” are so enraptured by the Student Environmental Action Coalition’s Activist Training Camp that we decided to come up with a catchy slogan for it:

Go to Student Environmental Action Coalition’s Activist Training Camp: Even the Kids at Fat Camp Will Make Fun of You.

Posted at May 19, 2005 12:01 AM | TrackBack